What about VW's crown logo? Does that come from her Glossop comprehension of dosh? Shouldn't there have been a reference to the V&A holdings of Regency gents' gear, to set Viv's dandyism within the tradition of nobs borrowing from working-class clobber while the lower orders pull themselves upwards by the flashness of their bootstraps? And the Miss Marple tweed suits - what was Viv a-doing? No answers Never mind. Where are the libel writs? A N Wilson's eighteenth novel, My Name is Legion, is an attack on the tabloid press - something that you might think otiose to satirise - and features a number of characters who have been fingered as real-life journalists. (Perhaps it's too early to say.) Westwood's claim that punk was "a great stand against authority - rebellion, autonomy, swastikas" precedes by one paragraph her remark that "If there is such a thing as the Anti-Establishment it feeds the Establishment", without question or comment from Wilcox. This competently covers la Viv's personal and professional history, from her 1947 sighting of Dior's New Look - falling long and wide from the shoulders of a woman from Tintwistle walking through Viv's native Glossop, Derbyshire - to her company's present licensing deals. Some of its VW quotes fascinate when they deal with technicalities: her discovery that cut and fit depend on the fashionable perception of male sexual attractiveness, or her description of a discreet girl on the underground (the Tube, darling, not the extreme scene) whose tweed jacket and ballerina bun inspire her still. But many passages of Westwoodian waffle and utterances from her male muses, especially ectoplasmic stuff from the collection manifestos ("Take your mother's old brassi? and wear it undisguised over your school jumper and have a muddy face") simply exasperate. Because Wilcox seems hobbled by the genre from analysing such fashiony pronouncements, she lacks the distance essential to critical appraisal. Wilcox puts that bra dictum in the context of what others were creating in 1982-83 and brackets her summary with statements from fellow curators at prestigious museums; but she doesn't express any fresh ideas as to what punk and post-punk meant in the narrative of 20th-century style.

Miles Chapman wrote the shrewd captions, and his unimpressible sensibility - "Vivienne's goldfoil teeth are pirated from a pack of Benson & Hedges", he annotated a mugshot of Westwood taken in 1980, when the punk depository Seditionaries muted into the New Romantic HQ called World's End - comes as a kick after curator Claire Wilcox's introduction. Books to accompany exhibitions of a living fashion designer are the new vanity publishing: the curator's text promotes the star, quoting him or her reverently, and promoting the museum/ gallery as important to have this talent on display. The accompanying essay and credits seldom detain me for long when deciding whether to lay out 30 quid for a book on someone like Vivienne Westwood, because I really lust after certain photos: say, the one on page 152 where the camera gets up close and impersonal on a crafty conjunction of knit and print. We'd just ordered drinks when Emma turned to me and said: "Gosh! I haven't seen you for ages!" The departing waiter promptly pirouetted, leaned over and cooed to Emma: "I know! I've been awaaaaaay!" Restaurants where the staff are the stars.. hmmm That's so Nineties, don't you think?.

If you would like to cheer the celebrities along - and I do mean celebrities, not mere authors - then call 020 7091 4791, or log on to /richard&judy to register.* * *The Notting Hill restaurant 192 closed this week, haunt of legions of Hillbilly literati and celebrati, plus a certain Ms Bridget Jones. But I went off the place around 18 months ago when I had lunch there with novelist and regular Emma Tennant. Then the excuses start: "I don't normally watch it, I just happened to be in, I was ill, I was at my friend's house, I was channel-surfing..." In fact, one of the few people who have ever come up to me with unashamed glee and said: "I saw you on Richard & Judy!!" was that well-known low-brow, the polyglot novelist, critic and Booker judge Philip Hensher.* * *You too could enjoy the buzz at the British Book Awards! (Far more glamorous than the dingy old Booker, dear.) It takes place at the Grosvenor House Hotel in Park Lane on 7 April and Richard & Judy has some guest passes for the "Red Carpet arrivals area". It's a very strange thing: I've been on Richard & Judy a few times now, and I'm always amazed at the reaction "I saw you on Richard & Judy last night..." people will say.

I was due to appear on the show to talk about their book club. I quickly asked my fellow judges what they thought of the famous "Richard and Judy" effect on book sales. The booksellers present (representatives from Waterstone's, Borders and a London independent bookshop) were thrilled with the sales, but hadn't actually checked out the programme. The winner will be revealed this week, at the British Book Awards, hosted by Richard and Judy and televised for the first time.