They have abandoned the kilt for Levis and their children turn up their noses at haggis when presented with a McDonald's. Second, they are divided: too many people in the northern half of Scotland dislike Edinburgh as heartily as they do London, and distrust it more The same is true of north Wales and Cardiff. Third, Scottishness and Welshness are increasingly spread outside the traditional borders; if Labour wins, its three most dominant figures - Blair, Brown, Cook - will all be Scots. And, fourth, the Old Nats' conception of devolution offers no promise to those outside the borders of Scotland and Wales who feel themselves to be part of those nations. Do we get postal votes in the elections, or is this a property-based franchise, in which second-home owners have rights not available to people who can trace their ancestry back two centuries?To make matters worse for Old Nats caught up in the romantic tradition, there are stronger claimants to an undiluted historic tradition in modern Britain.

Two million dedicated British Muslims are entitled to ask why it is that they can expect, at best, one Muslim in the new Parliament, while a similar number of people who happen to live in Wales - but many of whom can't claim a Welsh heritage - can demand 30 members of Parliament, a government of their own and a pounds 3bn subsidy.If the response is that the coincidence of population and geography is the key, the Old Nats are missing what is going on in the world. I know from my own experience that nationhood transcends geography - a lesson that Irish and Jewish nationalists have exploited brilliantly for most of this century; arguably, their greatest achievements have not been the establishment of Jewish or Irish states, but the creation of rich, vibrant and modern global tribes. Take also, for example, the success of East African Asians - built on the existence of a 150 million-strong diaspora that stretches across three continents, sharing common tastes, buying the same goods, watching the same films. In my own global tribe, it is no surprise to me that the top TV show among black South Africans (New York Undercover) is the same as that among African-Americans and probably among black Britons who can see it on satellite, yet the show is unknown to white audiences.If the Tories lose, there will be devolution. But after the first flourish of ceremony, the real symbols of Scottishness and Welshness are as likely to be found on cable or satellite TV as they are in the talk shops of Cardiff or Edinburgh, doomed to be starved of cash by Whitehall, and destined to be overruled by Westminster and Brussels. The truth is that the modern nationalist doesn't need another stuffy debating chamber. A modem, a PC and a satellite dish will do nicely, thank you..

Around the time Jeremy Paxman was interrogating Tony Blair on the proximity of his opinions to the breasts of Melinda Messenger, Sun readers were considering whom they would most like to chair a debate between the party leaders. Down at the Dog and Duck, not to mention in Acacia Avenue, the verdict was clear. Paxman, according to a readers' poll, was the man for the job. But even if the debate had gone ahead the Paxmania expressed by Sun readers was nowhere apparent in the upper echelons of politics and broadcasting. "I read that I was considered an unsuitable host because I am, quote, too independent Fine.