It would be an act which so reeked of cynicism and desperation that nothing he said in a campaign would be taken seriously; he would have destroyed his image of himself.This doesn't mean that the tax issue cannot work for the Conservatives. Kenneth Clarke can and will cut income-tax rates before the election. He can announce his intention of carrying on cutting them again, all things being equal, afterwards.Major's words in Washington amounted to a broad wink at such an outcome - indeed, he went a little further than was prudent. But it was credible to hint that something would be done, rather than merely promised. The broad Tory proposition that, all things being equal, a Labour government is likelier to impose higher income taxation than a Conservative one remains widely accepted, despite the "betrayal'' of the past few years.The distinction is between a politician - Hanley - who sounds shameless about the tax auction, and unserious about being in government; and those of his colleagues who think that the credibility of politicians in general, and the Prime Minister in particular, is worth defending, even in these degraded times It is the distinction between panic and calmness. It is also, I suspect, the distinction between a rout and a close-run thing..

Very recently we had a week called National Science Week, and my betting is 1,000-1 that you did absolutely nothing about it except feel vaguely guilty. Well, you're lucky, because this week is Hey-You- Forgot-All-About-Science-Week-Didn't-You! Week, and so you are getting a second chance and a second bite at the cherry. And that explains why, in a spirit of atonement, I now bring you a complete scientific yarn entitled: After Newton's Apple "Sir, could I have a word with you?"There were two men on the college lawn They were both scientists The elder one was grey with bowed shoulders He was called Professor Sir Tallis Farlow He had money worries That was why he was grey with bowed shoulders. Most people thought he looked that way because he was a brilliant scientist. Only his bank manager, wife, a few credit card firms and the bookmaker in the High Street knew any different.The younger man was called Toby Farthing. He had no worries at all apart from those connected with his experiments and his turnover of dirty laundry Oh, and a bit of girlfriend worry Nothing else But that was enough That was enough to worry him. Those of us who have fewer worries do not therefore worry less We just let our little worries seem bigger As Einstein might have said, all worry is relative.

Or if C Northcote Parkinson had extended his laws to cover worry, he might have said that worries expand to fill all available worrying space."Yes?" said Sir Tallis."I wanted to consult you about some experiments I have been doing, as I find the results quite worrying.""Any quick money in them?" was what Sir Tallis wanted to say, but he restrained himself so far as to say simply: "Oh, yes?" He quite liked this Farthing fellow and didn't want to cut a sorry figure in his eyes."It's just that ..." Toby started, and then he decided to begin at the beginning, at the risk of boring the old professor. "Sir, have you ever thought what went through Newton's mind when he sat under the apple tree and felt the apple fall on his head?""Well, we know, surely," said Sir Tallis. "He perceived the necessity for some force of attraction which would draw the apple from the tree to the earth.""Ah," said Toby, "but why didn't he perceive it differently? He might, after all, have visualised the possibility that the apple was staying quite still and the whole of the earth rising up to meet it.""If he did that, he would be discovering relativity," said Sir Tallis drily. "And he would have been 300 years early.""But why?" said Toby. "Why did anyone have to wait until the 20th century in order to discover relativity? Why couldn't Newton have done it?""Because you can't make discoveries outside your frame of reference, and your frame of reference is your contemporary culture.