In most cases the desirable answer was obvious: you would infinitely prefer to identify yourself with the white knights who had shown an instinctive decency, than with the apologists for the averted gaze (like the young suit who offered various sophisticated excuses for sitting through a nasty assault on an elderly person, and then congratulated himself on having come forward once the danger had passed).Of course, the true answer may be quite different when push comes to shove - because until theory becomes practice, it is almost impossible to know how inhibiting your cowardice or even your embarrassment will be. just kept on with the anecdotes until eventually I think I must have lost consciousness. And you know the thing I can't get out of my mind? Nobody at the BBC lifted a finger to stop him .. they just stood by and watched it happen. Well, you can imagine how I feel about the licence fee now, can't you?"It wasn't that bad, naturally (even if the words "apparently motiveless" seemed the best description of some of its artistic flourishes). I was a bit groggy by this time, but I distinctly remember some bits of cinefilm, all smeary and over-exposed, and I think he belted me with several of those arty portrait shots - where the interviewee stands very still so you can't be quite sure whether it's a photograph or not.

I mean it's all so unnecessary, isn't it? `Why? Why are you doing these things to me?' I kept asking But he wouldn't answer ... Then he started in on the fragmented close-ups of the human face - giant teary eyes and that kind of thing ... Bystanders (BBC2), a film for the Modern Times strand, was about the increasing reluctance of passers-by to involve themselves in the distress of others. Several tales were told - by people who regretted not going to the aid of those in need and, more pointedly, by those who bitterly regretted not having been helped. It was - despite some alleviating tales of rescue - a pretty depressing experience: a portrait of a world in which most people pass by on the other side, however ugly the incidents they are ignoring. But Nicholas O'Dwyer's film was also so precious in its manner that it eventually stirred a fantasy about the similar tale of unprovoked attack which the viewer would have been able to recount."It were awful - first he come at me with these long monochrome sequences out of focus .. you know the sort of thing .. all the youngsters have to have them nowadays. In my case it's also like losing your country, because I've been writing about South America, or Greece I'm not only friendless, I'm homeless.

Sometimes the characters stay with you for an awfully long time. Dr Iannis is still around."On this wistful note, I remind him of the time and ask if he's in a hurry because he has a lecture on Greeks in Asia Minor to attend "It's OK, I'm not going very far," he says Which surely couldn't be further from the truth.. They have PhDs in apathy."We jump to his next book, which will be set in Turkey, which reminds him: "Have you heard of camel-wrestling? They have a festival in Turkey where they wrestle camels. I'd love to go."Is he pulling my leg? He assures me he's not "The men are very fond of wrestling, too. Lots of olive oil, so it's really slippery."Corelli is the sort of book you hate to finish because you're forced to leave a gorgeous other life. Does he feel like that, too? "When you've finished writing a book it's like suddenly losing a large number of your friends.

I'd just lost the character I was most fond of."What a softie. Although de Bernieres is said not to welcome any intrusion into his private life, the way this man talks about his family and his former girlfriend belies this; how many people are this honest on a first meeting with a stranger?We talk about why he might now live in France, the home of his ancestors - "I started a relationship with somebody who didn't want to go there The plan fell through" - and animals: "I have a cat, Toby. He had that name when I inherited him, otherwise I would have called him something out of classical mythology."There were some wonderful snakes in Colombia, and lots of caimans on the farm They lie around doing absolutely nothing. But if you saw how difficult it was to get it in the taxi, you wouldn't be so hard." Eventually Pelagia accepts Corelli's gift, and he asks her: "Do you think you'll get much milk from it?" "You milk it if you like, Corelli," she replies. "Personally, I only try to milk the females."As well as copious amounts of humour, parts of Corelli are unbearably sad.

Does he realise he will make people cry? "You don't necessarily write with the idea of what effect you're going to have When I was writing those bits, I was crying too It's a way to express your own feelings as an author The terrible sorrow I felt over the death of Dr Iannis It's just as much my lament as hers. Although if you're writing about a community where women are indoors all the time, that makes it very hard to write about them."Of all his heroines, Corelli's Pelagia is the most rounded. She is adorable with a cheeky sense of humour which, combined with the wit of Captain Corelli, creates a beautiful yet far from sentimental love affair. When he brings her a gift of a goat (another one) and she rejects it, he says: "I don't care if you don't want it Sell it if you want. Some people accused me of making Captain Corelli a boys' novel though, and that puzzled me Women are just as present in life as men.