But it had started so enjoyably in such a fascinating city.I had been to Moscow four years ago with England B and the changes are immediately obvious, most visually the sprouting of advertising hoardings. You are almost conditioned to see Russia as an enemy because of all the propaganda down the years, and it took me a while to lose this mentality.We were billeted in a luxury hotel, where the food is flown in every day. Stuart Ripley described it as "the oasis", with greyness surrounding it. We ventured out to the sights, and I remember being photographed by the press taking a picture of David Batty in Red Square.Then came the match and the by now well-viewed events. I issued a public apology for my part in the proceedings via journalists with us in the early hours of Thursday morning at Blackpool airport and, after a few hours sleep, I also met with Ray Harford to discuss the situation.

I accepted without reservation the fine of two weeks' wages.Today I saw a specialist in Manchester, who confirmed that I have a fracture of the left hand. I had a special lightweight cast fitted and drove straight to our training ground to see if it was going to be feasible to play on Sunday against Arsenal, if selected. Like a rider thrown from a horse, I feel it is important to get straight back on. I am determined not to hide and I am desperately keen to play today. The day ends on a better note: a friend who is a local restaurateur brings me round some sympathy and a meal.If people feel I have let down the English game, I am genuinely sorry I can only look closer to home. I know I have to look within myself, learn from it all and do what I can to change my own approach without losing the competitiveness that is an important part of my game I hope to start today.. NOTTINGHAM FOREST fans celebrating another Uefa Cup win, over Lyon at the City Ground last Tuesday, sang loud, long and with damning accuracy: "One team in Europe, there's only one team in Europe".

But with only one Premiership side left and widespread criticism of British standards generally, the absurdity of the situation is that a sizeable clutch of formerly well-established players, in some cases internationals, are at present talented misfits, transfer millionaires who are unable to command first-team places at clubs now supposed to be the poor relations of Europe. As television and sponsorship money has poured in and the Premiership's nouveau riche have gone out to bid alongside Italian, Spanish and German buyers, players who a few years ago would never have considered coming to Britain are not only here but, in some cases, struggling for recognition. Forest themselves have got one of the misfits in Andrea Silenzi. Whereas in the past the bulk of imports came cheaply from eastern Europe, this Italian international arrived from Torino for about pounds 1.6m. Yet against Lyon he was making just his second start of the season, and only because Jason Lee was injured He was substituted after 69 minutes. Lee used to be Southend United's lone striker; at Napoli, Silenzi partnered Maradona.Stan Collymore says his pounds 8.5m price tag was not of his making, but having been stuck with it he knows exactly what he thinks about being a reserve: "Bloody frustrating".